To Weep For the World

To Weep For the World, digital collage by Claire Perkins aka ArtfulAlchemist on Polyvore.

There are days when my heart weeps for the world, and today is one of them.

It began with my thoughts about 9/11 this morning, remembering the feelings of that day. The grey skies and drizzling rain, while welcome, added to my somber mood. A misunderstood post on Facebook left me feeling defensive as I tried to explain my position on moving forward from this shared loss with more understanding and less fear. It’s far too easy to sound cavalier and dismissive when posting brief social media sound bites, and I know I can come across as hopelessly naïve and idealistic.

I feel the pain of those who lost loved ones on that day. And I feel the pain of those who perpetrated the attack. And I feel the pain of all the mothers who have lost their children in one way or another, as expressed in this video clip.

Not having suffered a personal loss of a loved one that day, my grief wells up around man’s inhumanity to man, that day and in all the days prior and since. If, one day, we could all see that there is no “us and them”, but only us, events like those of 9/11 would never happen to begin with. If we connected to each other heart to heart, in the spirit of Namaste, one divine spark to another, what a different world this could be.

On my more Pollyanna days, I believe we can get there – to that place of understanding and living our Oneness. On my darker days I fear we’ll never get there – that instead we will continue, little by little, to destroy ourselves, each other, and this planet.

Yesterday, I lit a candle to the memory of a friend’s son lost to suicide. Today I learned a colleague just lost her son to an overdose. Later this afternoon I heard a first-hand account of atrocities witnessed and experienced in a childhood hell the likes of which most of us in this country cannot even imagine. My heart feels too small to hold all this grief.

And I wonder what kind of systemic pain festers beneath the surface of this planet that can drive people to these desperate and depraved acts. But more than that, I wonder how we can heal it.

Soon To Be Free

Dream 2/10/11
Soon to Be Free 
Cameron is in my dream, in some kind of detainment center. They are going to be letting him out soon. There is a gap in the wire fencing through which I joyfully hug and kiss him. We talk a little (I don’t remember upon waking what was said). I urge him to be careful – not to blow his chance to be free. I feel he is still a bit of a scoundrel.

Cameron is my son, who died of a drug overdose May 3, 2004. I cannot even express how amazingly happy I felt in the dream. It was so nice to be happy and hug him so tight. So much better than those early dreams where I was so angry at his leaving that all I could do was argue with him or turn my back. I feel that we have healed so much. I am not sure what the idea that they are letting him out soon means. A medium told me recently that he’s coming back soon – getting a new body. Maybe so.


Soon To Be Free by Artful Alchemist on Polyvore

I looked for a song to go with my dream art, and found this one (which I’d not heard before). I’m pretty sure Cameron led me to it to try and tell me what it’s like over there. I love the lyrics, and the rhythm. Be free, Cameron. Be free.

by Stevie Wonder
Free like the river
Flowin’ freely through infinity
Free to be sure of
What I am and who I need not be
Free from all worries
Worries prey on oneself’s troubled mind
Freer than the clock’s hands
Tickin’ way the times
Freer than the meaning of free that man defines
Life running through me
‘Til I feel my father God has called
Me having nothin’
But possessing riches more than all
And I’m free
To be nowhere
But every place I need to be
Freer than a sunbeam
Shining through my soul
Free from feelin’ heat or knowing bitter cold
Free from conceiving the beginning
For that’s the infinite start
I’m gone – but I’m still living
Life goes on without a beating heart
Free like a vision
That the mind of only you can see
Freer than a raindrop
Falling from the sky
Freer than a smile in a baby’s sleepin’ eyes
I’m free like a river
Flowin’ freely to infinity
I’m free to be sure of
What I am and who I need not be
I’m much freer – than the meaning
Of the word free that man defines
Free – free like the vision that
The mind of only you are ever gonna see
Free like the river
My life goes on and on through infinity