$90,000 Rolex

$90,000 Rolex

m326933-0001This morning I dreamed we gave Cameron
a $90,000 Rolex
with a broken watch band
that we’d found somewhere
and counted as our lottery win,
our ticket forward.

Yet we handed it over to Cameron
so he could marry his girl
and have his own future.

I don’t think the dream’s about dollars, though.
It could be about time.
About the 90,000 hours he’s missed of his own
this-time-around life.

Or the 90,000 beats of my heart,
within not one of which he’s been absent.

Or the 90,000 bits of bone and ash
still waiting to be scattered.

Or the exponential expanse of time
he’s now experiencing.
All the time,
not just in the world,
but in the Universe
to live in love and freedom.

Or the energy of nine, which is endings
and the magnified energy of zero,
which is eternity,
and the real truth of his passing.

There was a day I would have handed over $90,000
or 9 times $90,000
to buy his happiness.

But happiness is an inside job,
not to be bought, but created
day by day,
heartbeat by heartbeat,
tick by tick of this $90,000 Rolex we call life.

He taught me that
through the grief of his leaving.


in memory of
Cameron David Perkins
4/2/1978 ~ 5/3/2004

SoulCollage® – Council Suit – Becoming Universal

SoulCollage® – Council Suit – Becoming Universal

SoulCollage® – Council Suit – Becoming Universal


Rooted in Earth and Spirit
I float upon still waters
Safe from any storms
Suspended on the edge of transformation
Facing Future

I am Spirit and Light
I am the expansion of Love
I am the Universe
Being born and reborn
Evolution unfolding
As galaxies of Conscious Light
Spiral in and through me

I am the New
Growing out of the roots of all that has passed
Guided by Light and Love
I emerge from a heavy past
Into a new Lightness of Being

My jeweled wings are sprouting
I am poised to take flight
I am the one who is becoming
Rising up from the depths of my being
Ever higher into who I am meant to become

I spiral outward and onward
Becoming Universal


Before this imagery became part of my SoulCollage® deck, I wrote another blog about it having to do with the process of evolution unfolding through quantum leaps triggered by crises. It seems as appropriate to think about today as it did four years ago. There’s an intriguing process that occurs when the caterpillar is about to become the butterfly that involves “imaginal cells” and the emergence of the new from the old – even as the old fights back (see blog). As we say goodbye to 2016 and move into the unknown territory of 2017, may we become those imaginal cells, may we sprout wings and fly into our true human potential.


“Becoming Universal”
Digital Collage Art by Claire Perkins
created on Polyvore