Follow Love

Follow Love

20 Ways to Change Your Story

13. Follow Love

In chapter ten of Fallen, The Adventures of a Deep Water Leaf, Deer talks to Alora about love and fear:

Do you see how fear makes the world smaller and love expands it? How love makes you brave and overcomes fear? Fear separates you from the truth of who you are. And the truth of who you are is love. ~ Deer

Your bigger, bolder, brighter story will always emerge through love, not fear. The more you can choose to act from love, the more amazing your story can become.

But what would love do? How can you tell what the loving choice is?

  • Love is inclusive, welcoming, accepting. Fear is exclusive, tribal, wall-building.
  • Love shares. Fear hoards.
  • Love stretches boundaries. Fear holds tight to status quo.
  • Love sees what’s working. Fear sees what’s broken.
  • Love steps forward into possibilities. Fear runs away or freezes.
  • Love values you and finds you worthy. Fear sells you short and makes you feel unworthy.
  • Love expands. Fear contracts.

WhitherGoestMyHeartWhen faced with a decision, try this little meditation:

Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Center your breathing into your heart and take a few more deep heart breaths. Feel the air moving, in and out, as if it were flowing through your heart.

Now, imagine you are standing at a fork in the road. To your left, the path travels into the future created by making decision “A” and to the right the path travels into the future created by making decision “B”. Which of the two paths feels more expansive?

You can feel the expansiveness or the contraction within your heart space and perhaps within other parts of your body.

  • Do you feel your shoulders falling back and your chest opening up? Expansion.
  • Do you feel your shoulders rolling forward and your body curling in on itself? Contraction.
  • Do you feel a flutter of excitement in your belly? Expansion.
  • Do you feel a knot or nausea in your belly? Contraction

Your body will have its own signals. Learn to listen to them so they can help you choose the path of love.

When you step forward in love you may still feel fear. It doesn’t have to hold you back. Love will help you to step through your fear and move you into a bigger story than you may ever have imagined.


This is the 14th post in a 21-post series sparked by Chapter 9 of Fallen, The Adventures of a Deep Water Leaf, in which Lizard suggests that Alora change her story.

#20WaysIn20Days, #ChangeYourStory, #Fallen

Good Bones and Possibilities

Good Bones and Possibilities

20 Ways to Change Your Story

12. Good Bones and Possibilities

Maybe it’s because I’ve recently spent so many hours designing the floor plan for my new home, mulling over style and color, finishes and furnishings. Maybe it’s because I’ve been wandering around my current home of 30 years with an eye for what we’ll need to fix, replace or update in order to sell at top dollar when we’re ready to list it.

Or maybe it’s because I’ve been watching too many house flipping programs on HGTV lately.

Whatever the reason, my story changing tip for today revolves around the idea of good bones and potential.

There’s a common thread, and a crucial one, that runs through all those shows: Love It or List It, Property Brothers Buying and Selling, Fixer Upper, Good Bones – take your pick. It’s the idea of seeing past what’s there and into what could be. The idea of building upon the good bones of a place and breathing new life into it.

In my book, Fallen, The Adventures of a Deep Water Leaf, Lizard tells Alora she needs to change her story. And the advice he gives her is to:

Change your focus from what isn’t working to what is. Fix one eye on everythin’ good and let the other scout ahead into the possibilities of what could be.

Lizard is like a seasoned home designer and Alora his short-sighted home buyer.

abandoned-houseOften we spend way too much time focusing on, complaining about, and feeling stuck in what’s wrong with our story. We see everything that’s broken, everything that’s not working and it clouds our vision so that we can no longer see the good bones and the potential for change. We end up feeling like our life – our story – is a ramshackle, dilapidated wreck beyond salvaging.

We are like the potential home buyers in those shows who walk into an old 70s style home and focus on the walled off rooms, the shag carpet and the avocado kitchen tiles. They see all these things as deal-breakers instead of easily fixed cosmetic issues.

The designers see past all that. They see walls coming down to open the flow, brand new hardwood flooring and beautiful, modern kitchen design. And once the buyers can see it too, once they open to the vision the designers have, they’re sold.

Well, some of them remain a bit skeptical, but they trust in the possibilities and they are at least willing to take a chance.

So, where are the good bones in your life? The structures and strengths that hold you together despite any flaws in your story?

Maybe it’s a strong marriage, a great job or income, certain things you love about your life like hobbies or friends or the place that you live. Maybe the good bones are within you: your loving nature, your skill set, your passions, your creativity, your resiliency.

Manor House Villa Real Estate Home Castle

When you spend more time focusing on these things, the good bones, you feel better about your life overall. And, paradoxically, that feeling good energy is what makes room for the things that aren’t working to change.

There may be some shag carpet or avocado tiles that you are sick and tired of. Maybe there are even some big, solid walls that need to come down. If you learn to look at these as opportunities to upgrade rather than insurmountable issues, your Inner Life Designer can go to work to help you design a bigger, better story.

Focus on the good bones. Be open to the possibilities. Dream ahead into what could be.

And, watch out, because you are about to be dazzled by the results!


This is the 13th post in a 21-post series sparked by Chapter 9 of Fallen, The Adventures of a Deep Water Leaf, in which Lizard suggests that Alora change her story.

#20WaysIn20Days, #ChangeYourStory, #Fallen